I Think I Can, I Know God Can

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

My kindergartener came home recently, very excited about his part in the school play, The Little Engine That Could.

Will you help me practice my lines, mommy?” You betcha!

“You’re gonna be at my play, right, mommy?” Of course I will!

But, honestly, I started to feel a little anxiety as soon as the words were out of my mouth.

Because the pain and weakness varies with SM, it is very difficult to make plans and commit to activities. You really have to learn how to adapt to a wait-and-see-how-I-feel-that-day-mentality. Being a planner, this was difficult for me at first but it’s easier now as I’m learning that I really don’t have a choice. I try to be aware of how it affects others as I realize it’s not entirely convenient. I very much appreciate the very gracious, understanding attitude of my friends and family members if I can’t make it to an event.

Now I realize I just wrote in an earlier post (Parent Guilt) about accepting the reality that, at this time, I can’t make it to every one of my kids’ activities and I stand by that position. I really, truly am okay with it. But kindergarteners performing The Little Engine That Could!?? I’m crying already! They are little and adorable and then those years are gone.

God tells us that we don’t need to waste our energy feeling anxious, but instead we can ask him for anything. (paraphrase of Phil. 4:6) I am asking God for an extra dose of strength the day of my son’s play. It may seem like a silly thing to ask when we have war and hunger and calamity in this world, but I believe God cares about the smallest details of our lives and can certainly handle any request. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 103:13.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. 

I read an entire sermon by Charles Spurgeon dedicated to this one small verse. He explained that the word “fear” in this context meant love and respect. He was drawing an analogy of a parent and child to God and us. Think about how much a parent loves their own child and wants GOOD for them. This is how we are loved by God, only MORE, much MORE! If it is GOOD in God’s eyes for me to be at the play, then it is just as important to Him as it is to me.

As long as God wills, I will be there even if I have to be carried in or sit drooling on myself from taking pain-killers. “…so the Little Blue Train starts to push. And slowly, slowly they start off. Everyone jumps aboard, and they begin to sing.”

To those who are following, I’d like to pray for you or anyone you know that suffers from chronic illness or chronic pain. Please let me know by email or text how I can pray.

Thank you for journeying with me.

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