Come for me, Jesus, carry me home
Just so tired
Been faithful to your name
Well I have tried
I say “take my legs” if it’s for some good
Only next minute to deny
Awakened by fear disabling
Holding screams inside
Pieces of me submitted
Yet still death-gripping pride
Darkness hovers in daylight
Why do I feel pushed aside?
You called me to wife, mother, teacher
Then allow arduous divide?
Uncertainties turn around my mind;
My heart does not understand.
Weary of mind and heart dissension, running even through my veins.
But then my heart rejoices! For one thing can be agreed upon:
My God is GOOD and His Son was crushed for me.
My hope and faith remain in God through Jesus Christ alone.
My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Psalm 42:3
David, a man after God’s own heart, wrote this distressing verse. Even those who are strong in the faith experience almost crippling discouragement during times of trial. I’ve always loved reading the Psalms because one verse they are brutally honest about the difficulty and pain of life to the point of despair, then filled with hope and exultation of God in the next. Most of Psalm 42 seems very desperate but by the end, David is placing his hope in God again! (v.11) Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
A dear, wise friend in Christ suggested that I write a “Psalm.” I am glad because it is important to me to always be very real and anyone who reads this blog should know that I struggle with fear, doubt, discouragement, and all of those “dark” things the psalmist writes about. I am so grateful God allows us to see that side of David because God understands that our pain, whether emotional or physical, is very real and very difficult. But I also believe this – in the words of Matt Chandler – “God is never that far from us than we could reach out with our hands and touch him.” (Matt Chandler is pastor of The Village church in Texas. I think I got that quote pretty close to correct but he probably won’t mind if I messed it up a little bit)