I’m in the ER because I couldn’t get an asthma attack under control at home. After IV steroids and three nebulizer treatments, I can breathe.

Doctor-something just came in and said something-or-other was elevated in my blood so they need to do a CT of my chest.

Me: Ok. What are possible causes of the blood-something-or-other being elevated?

Dr. Something: Blood clot. Infection. Cancer.

You’ve got to be joking. This has got to be a dream.

I got a cut and blow dry yesterday. At least I have good hair.