The results of Justin’s liver toxicity screening was good. The high levels have come down, but he will need to be screened every month now as opposed to the routine quarterly screening.
The high white blood cell count is still an issue but his doctor is hesitant to increase chemo because of the concern with Justin’s liver. Am I worried? Well, to be honest, I hesitate to answer that question.
Seems like anytime I verbalize faith, the enemy attacks. And, listen, I struggle with his lies just like everybody else. Maybe I don’t emphasize that enough because all you sweet friends out there write in such nice comments about me being strong and such.
I battle “the lie” everyday. I call it “the lie” because I think it’s the biggest nuisance of a piece of crap that we all have to deal with. It’s the same lie Satan got Eve with in the garden. He essentially was saying to her, “what kind of a GOOD God wouldn’t want you to eat this delectable fruit and become equal to Him as well?” He was implying that God must not be good to withhold something that seemed so good.
Extrapolate. What kind of a good God allows a child to be sick for days and days, weeks, months, even years?
The same good God who allowed His own Son to be obliterated on the cross so that we can have the one thing the human heart cannot survive without: HOPE.
Am I worried? Honestly, no. I’m still trusting. Will I be attacked for having bold faith? Probably. Will I believe the lie? Maybe for a brief time. But I will not stop going to war with it through my writing, prayer, truth, and good conversation with good friends.
Let’s be honest. Once in a while you get a great day at the beach, but, other than that, life is incredibly hard. I don’t care who you are or how optimistic you can be.
Life is hard.
But God, through Jesus Christ, offers hope. Hope is good. God is good. Don’t believe the lie. Grace be with you, my friends.
One thought on “No Cute Pictures. No Entertainment. Just Me Unedited.”
I also do not wish or invite trials because life brings enough of its own and the one Justin and your family is facing right now is awful. But I thank God that He is receiving the glory through it and using your faith and vulnerability to help others. I have a friend from high school who wrote me tonight. Her spine is pretty much fused together after major surgeries and she’s still on daily morphine, has had breast cancer, just has been diagnosed with sleep apnea…. I had just read your blog and shared some of what you said with her as an encouragement. I do not want this trial for you, but am thankful that through it He is receiving glory and others are being blessed. The battles are horribly tough, but thank God, He’s won the war! Keep the faith, hope and draw your strength from Him! Still praying for that miracle! ❤