Sometimes we turn off all the lights and have a grand dart gun battle. I surrender to the magnificent disarray of our home and embrace laughter. Dishes, laundry, chaos will always be here. But will my boys remember or care about having a clean house and a mom who’s all neatly put together or will they remember us laughing together as we bombard each other with Nerf darts in a dark house?

Day 243. Justin has entered the “maintenance phase” of his treatment protocol. It began today with a spinal tap. His spinal fluid was nice and clear, meaning the treatment is working effectively and has maintained remission.

It was a long, tedious, painful day for Justin. His nurse went over the oral medication schedule for the next two and a half years. I think my teacher certification exams were less complicated.

But.

We will step forward in grace, finding ways to make laughter balance the pain and looking to God’s goodness. We place our hope in Truth when we are down and remember that Justin’s awareness of God’s grace is being honed each time he overcomes procedures, blood draws, foot pain, nausea, exams, distaste for oral medication. Each time he rises above the ravaging toll of chemotherapy and kicks a soccer ball hard and fast down the field, Justin becomes more acquainted with the Jesus-grace and Jesus-joy and Jesus-hope his mom is always chattering about.

Justin is fast asleep at my side, still too insecure to sleep alone. His brand new hair is coming in faster now. His dark, thick, coarse covering has been replaced with soft, blonde, baby-duck-fuzz.

Justin will be changed. He will be different in many ways. But I trust that it will be for his ultimate good. (Romans 8:28)

My hope is that Justin remembers the laughter at the end of today, not the puncture of needles and nauseating infusion of chemicals. Find someone to blast with darts and laugh your heads off together. You’d be surprised how much it helps.

Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Psalm 126:2