The stress is taking a physical toll on me. I woke up this morning with an excruciating migraine. My muscles ache and my skin is becoming blotchy red and itching.
Although I am trusting God’s sovereignty over our circumstances, I am still under an amazing amount of stress just coping with the amount of care Justin requires and my own physical limitations due to my muscular dystrophy. Turning to God for help and strength is not a daily thing.
It’s an every minute thing.
I simply cannot do this in my own strength. My body is too weak and tired, my heart too anxious apart from Christ.
At this moment, I am sitting with Justin’s head on my lap, a dish towel thrown over my shoulder and little blobs of ketchup all over my light beige couch. (I REALLY should have ordered this thing in mocha. What was I thinking??!) Anyway I could really care less about the couch, I was just giving you some visual context.
I can hear Jeff picking up where I left off with the dishes. And Justin is fine for the moment. So I have a minute to reflect on scripture that has been on my mind throughout the day.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
This scripture has become very three dimensional to me. Like I am seeing it jump off the page and take on form and substance in my life.
I trust that this trial has a purpose to the glory of Christ and, because I believe that, I can accept this trial without anger or protest. And I can attest to the grace of God, poured out during this hardship, and its absolute undeniable sufficiency.
Turning to God for help continuously and keeping my eyes open for glimpses of His grace has been my veritable survival. And it’s an every minute thing.
Well, Justin needs more milk. And my other boys need to shower and study. And I need to find some chocolate.
Grace be with you, my friends.