Refined

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The ups and downs of this journey continue. Just after rejoicing at Justin’s regained ability to kick a ball, I had to explain to him today that he would not be able to play baseball this year.

Michael is gearing up to start the baseball season, so Jeff took him out last night for a new glove. Of course, Justin was included in the outing and came home sporting a new glove as well. But I told Justin that he would have to wait to join the team next year, and he could help Michael practice for now.

He didn’t quite get that.

Today, Justin excitedly told a friend that he and Michael were playing baseball on the same team. With a heavy heart, I, again, explained that he would have to wait until next year. I told him that his arms and legs will be stronger then and much more ready to hit home runs and circle the bases.

Of course, it is not the end of the world that he can’t play baseball this year. And the miracle of his rapidly returning health and strength far outweighs the disappointment. But a five-year-old doesn’t understand that. And no matter how many times I explain this to him, his sad eyes reveal a knowledge and experience of affliction at what seems far too tender an age.

Once again, I must redirect my mind and heart from dwelling on circumstances to meditating on truth. I know that God is the sovereign Author of our stories. We will experience pain and loss and sadness and disappointment, but we must fiercely hold onto our faith in Scripture which promises that God is working each difficult moment to our own good. (Romans 8:28) It is in these hours that we are being refined to His good purposes. How awesome is it that the Creator of the universe would care to mold and shape us into something new and better to His glory!

“Praise our God, all peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;
9 he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.
10 For you, God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.
11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.
12 You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.” Psalm 66:8-12

When I am able to view Justin’s disappointment through the lense of truth, I am actually grateful that God has chosen Justin’s little life to move in big ways. Of course, I still don’t like to see my son’s disappointment, but I believe in the greater plan that is unfolding beyond the realm of the human eye.

Grace be with you, my friends.

 

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