All the Days of My Life

I am tired. Really tired. Like that “my head feels disconnected from my body” kind of tired.

Meeting all of Justin’s needs everyday and trying to make sure I also spend time with my other boys  as well as accomplishing daily household responsibilities while dealing with my own physical limitations is…well…exhausting. Even that sentence was a draining run on.

Where can we turn when this kind of soul-bending, bone-aching fatigue begins to set in? A nap? A vacation? A friend’s sympathy? Those are all good things. But they are temporary. Eventually you have to get up, go home, or relinquish the listening ear.

What can we do when our joy is being threatened by the often harsh and painful realities of daily life? Anything I can think of that is of this world is momentary and fleeting.

Admittedly, there are times I turn to mere distractions instead of truth. A good movie. A big bowl of ice cream. And sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I mistake these “happy” distractions for real joy. But then the movie is over and the ice cream is gone. And I’m left feeling joyless, unfulfilled and…bloated. That may sound funny or ridiculous, but think about it. Can you relate on some level?

We were created for relationship with God and when that suffers because of pressing schedules, preoccupation with other things or just plain sin, we simply cannot have true joy. Sometimes I just get caught up in all the pressing details of the mundane. Indeed, lost in it. Like I don’t know what day it is, I’m dipping potato chips in an old can of Betty Crocker frosting for lunch and my keys have been lost for days. And while I may have read a few Bible verses here and there, I haven’t spent real time with the Lord.

How grateful I am that God doesn’t let me stay that way. He gently pushes into my heart until it cries:

“My heart says of you, ‘Seek His face’!”

Psalm 27. Of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord;
be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, Lord;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations.
13 I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

“Your face, Lord, I will seek.”

As I seek the Lord and wait for Him,  allowing words of truth to fill my mind and heart, joy takes hold of my spirit once again. My problems are still here. I am still tired. But my soul rests in hope that can only come from knowing Jesus and “dwelling in His house all the days of my life.”

What a friend we have in Jesus! Grace be with you, my friends.


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