Spaghetti and meatballs on the stove at 10am. Chemo craving. This is usually funny. But today it’s not. I don’t know why exactly.

Maybe because the sun is shining and birds are singing spring outside my kitchen window but I just want to shout at them to stuff their cheerfulness and bring back a cold gray day that makes me feel like I’m not missing anything because my six-year-old is in pain and lethargic on the couch.

This is feeling all so selfish now that I wrote it out.

And then Justin comes running out to the kitchen. He smiles happily at his plate.

Suddenly there’s no place I’d rather be. I come to my senses and remember there is so much gratefulness. Sometimes squeezed out of place by plain old humanity. But always there.

Normalcy is overrated anyway.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

The secret is hope in Jesus. Grace be with you, my friends.