“Mom, can we go to a trampoline park today?”

No.

“Mom, can we have some marshmallows?”

No. It’s before lunch.

“Mom, can we watch Godzilla?”

No.

“Why? Is it rated R?”

No. It’s rated S for stupid.

“Mom, can we get a puppy?”

“Mom?…mom??!”

But mom is somewhere in Nazi Germany, on page three-hundred and thirty-nine of a best-seller. It’s like they tell you in an airplane: put the oxygen mask on yourself before assisting small children.