After the third attempt, I went to the bathroom and vomited my coffee and breakfast sandwich.

There was shaking, screaming, sweating and crying. There were hot packs, ice packs and three nurses. But, still, Justin’s veins would not give, and an IV was not in place for a chemo infusion.

I asked to speak to the head nurse outside our room. “That’s enough. We are going home. We will have to come back. I’m not coming back tomorrow. It will have to be next week.”

“Okay. I’ll need to make sure that’s okay with his doctor.”

“It’s gonna have to be okay. I don’t mean to be rude. But I’m taking him home. Now.”

I was all miserable and in defeat until a very special friend reminded me that sometimes our faith is tested.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

And that God is sovereign and always in control. For some reason, He did not want Justin to get chemo today.

All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’ Daniel 4:35

And, finally, if we say we have true faith, then we remain faithful during the bad times as well as the good.

But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:6

I know that chemo can be put off for a week or so as our doctor has adjusted the schedule before. Justin recovered well and was happy building Legos with his pal, Benjamin, this afternoon.

We will rest, in Jesus, and try to block the details of this morning from our minds. Next week, we go back into battle. Stronger.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Grace be with you, my friends.