Day 1010 and Cancer Mom Confessions

18174F31-E99C-4D53-911E-EBA85AA283ACJustin is “man down” again. We started another round of chemo Tuesday, and it usually  reeks havoc on his body the first week or so. Just as he’s feeling better toward the end of the month, it’s time to start again.

6FB1B54C-AE7B-4316-B3A9-D8E31887A3F9Justin is not feeling well, but sometimes he is able to rally for something he really wants to do. We’ll see if that happens later today for the boys’ soccer games.

Justin cried last night and said he hates cancer because he had to go home while his brothers and friends went trick-or-treating. He made it a little while; but then he was too tired and his neuropathy-affected, chemo-mangled heel cords were in too much pain.

9D0AF6F2-C972-4011-8CDE-B2972CBC66F0I told him to try and focus on the fact that he got to go even for a little while. Very hard for kids. Hard for me as I held him, wiped his tears and offered a chocolate bar.

Aaaand another emotional eater is born.

Jeff is working. I am working. I am also taking care of Justin and managing the boys mostly myself again. I am tired. But it’s a good tired, I guess, because we are doing what needs to be done.

We push forward. Maybe, today, I am crawling.

They had to increase Justin’s chemo dosages for a white blood cell count that is too high and concerning. He is also slightly jaundiced again and will have further testing done this month to determine the cause and health of his liver.

It’s a lot. Yup.

But we are employed with health benefits. Jeff’s eyes are healthy again with a little help from a laser and medications.

And God will carry us through as we push toward a finish line that we hope, above all hope, WILL NOT BE MOVED.

Thank you for continued support and prayer.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore. Psalm 121




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