Jesus

I actually forgot!

As we pass the FIVE YEAR mark since Justin’s diagnosis on January 16, 2016, I can report with gladness that the anniversary date of his diagnosis did not send me into a bout of struggling through post-traumatic flashbacks and unrelenting dark thoughts. In fact, to my absolute joy, I forgot the date until today. I actually forgot!

A Huge STEP…

This may seem like a gross omission, since we have looked toward this time with such faith, endurance and hope. But as one who has struggled and suffered and persevered with Jeff, Nicky and Michael, alongside Justin, all of these many days, I view it as a huge STEP. By His grace, I have been able to move forward. We have been able to move FORWARD.

There came a time when posting updates became too painful for me. I had to take time for self-care, rest and even moving into a new house. There are several reasons why we moved, but it is not lost on me that staying in the physical place where we experienced the longest of nights and greatest of pain was not healthy for the mind. We are so very grateful that God provided an alternative.

…only Jesus Christ can heal the heart and soul…

While it is true that I have walked through dark places with Justin, Jeff, Nicky and Michael and what often felt like being very, very alone, I also know what is not true. I was never alone. By His Spirit, Jesus was with me. I know this is true because we are HEALING and we are daily BEING HEALED. To me, forgetting the diagnosis date, even briefly, is evidence! Yes, chemotherapy, with its host of problems and side effects, CAN kill cancer. But only Jesus Christ can heal the heart and soul after being broken over and over again.

Justin will not officially finish treatment and move into the survivorship program until the end of March 2021.

If you are still receiving these updates, thank you for following and praying. Grace be with you.

“…And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20b

**Justin, age 10. Five year cancer survivor. It’s an honor and joy to be his mom!**

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2

Leaving Nazareth, he went and lived in Capernaum, which was by the lake in the area of Zebulun and Naphtali—to fulfill what was said through the prophet Isaiah:“…the people living in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.” Matthew 4:13-16

What has impressed on me more than anything this Christmas is the link between Scriptural prophecy on the coming of Christ and the fulfillment recorded in the gospels. I mean I KNEW about it and I BELIEVED it. But this year it’s really jumping off the pages for me.

God said Jesus was coming. People wrote it down. Everything He said would happen, did happen. People wrote it down. And the pages survived and flourished in translation for thousands of years. This is unequivocal reliability.

We will all most likely spend the next twenty-four hours or so in various kinds of traditional Christmas activities or preparing for said activities. And we will feel joy, nostalgia, sentiment, perhaps great sadness. But, to me, none of this comes close to the soul-bending awe that results when I think about the dawning of a Light that has reached down, in great hope, to our helpless state of darkness.

Even on a day sometimes referred to as the Festival of Lights, we can experience that dimmest kind of murkiness, simply resulting from our imperfect existence. May you know and see and feel and believe that which darkness CANNOT prevent from breaking through.

To me, Christmas is a beautiful reminder and celebration of the dawning time.

My sincere gratitude for your prayers and support as we continue to journey with childhood cancer. Justin and the boys enjoyed decorating cookies last night. Grace be with you, my friends.