Morning and afternoon spent at clinic supporting Justin as he was weighed, examined, stuck with a needle and infused with chemicals. Tried, as usual, to make the experience positive, this time engaging in board games, enjoying a visit from “Gee-gom” and indulging in a post-chemo ice cream cone. Please make it extra big, Chick-Fil-A employee, my kid just had chemo. And never without God going before us; prayer in the car with my eyes open because I’m driving. And scripture that I hope helps Justin as much as it helps me. Today it was simple but altogether adequate. Philippians 4:13.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

You have to try for positive and even a little fun because some of the memories are just plain bad.

Then straight to Nicky’s basketball game and finding something for dinner and playing hide-and-seek with Michael. Because siblings need attention too. So even if you’re emotionally and physically drained, you go. And you play. Because  they tell you Justin doesn’t ever get punished and Justin gets to eat whatever he wants. And, of course, it’s not entirely true because kids exaggerate. But it’s a little bit true. Because cancer is punishment enough. And broccoli can taste really bad after eight tablets of methotrexate.

It’s all just layers piled on top of an already undoubtedly intricate plight. But my cancer patient is here with me. And, for that, I don’t have to be reminded to be very grateful. Because when I think about those WE have lost and those WHO have lost and maybe we could STILL lose yet, my chest starts to hurt in that place my doctor calls asthma. But I just think it’s a cracked heart.

Still too many white blood cells. Justin’s chemo dosage was again increased. Thank you for following, praying and, as always, grace be with you.