Often I am discouraged. Often I am tired. Often my mind is jammed full of too many things. And, very often, my foot seems permanently lodged in mouth. Being a mom is hard. Being a mom and a cancer mom is really hard.
More often, though, it is subtle, whispery reminders that Jesus still walks IN THIS THING with me. Like when I am running on Cherry Coke, dragging myself around in a baggy sweatshirt, forced smiles and wet hair; knowing Jeff is flying overseas in a few hours, the house is a mess, I have no groceries and no motivation to go get them. Then God sends a very together-looking lady with AMAZING hair to tell me that MY words have been an encouragement. She is speaking about this girl who writes a blog and, in that moment, I don’t even know who this could be.
ME. The binge-eating, exhausted one who occasionally pulls jeans from the dirty laundry basket and yells weird things like “shut your teeth.”
And then I remember that God is in the business of cracked vessels (2 Corinthians 4:7) and I am oh-SO-cracky. And He is sovereign over the words spewed out on this purple Mac. What a huge relief that is. Moreover, He places bearers of encouragement in my path when it is needed most. Cards and messages. Kind words wearing great hair. And a lovely lobster-preparing-delivering couple, who made time for a little thing like Justin’s craving (even though it can’t really be called that since he’s never had lobster in his life).
I’m sure I’ve lost some of you along the way. Of course. Life is busy and crazy. But, to the faithful, I am so grateful for your very necessary part in the way He holds me up. Thank you for continuing to journey with us.
Nicky sees me tearing up across the room and comes in for a hug. He pulls a wad of pink from his mouth and says, “want some gum?” I laugh. This is totally something I would do. Grace be with you, my friends.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9