Absolute Edges

I received a beautiful letter from Michael last night.

It read:

My love for you is as far as the moon. When I’m sad, you make me laugh. When I’m hungry, you order pizza.

Well, it doesn’t say a whole lot for my “homemaker” skills. No, I don’t iron or cook much from scratch, but I will go to my absolute edges to make sure my boys laugh often and know they are loved.

Michael will start counseling Friday. Justin will have chemotherapy injected into his spine next week. Morning nausea and lower leg weakness for Justin, and frequently talking through “worries and scares” with Michael is my daily reality.

Picking up on my cues, Nicky has been really good at making us all laugh. He has developed a character named “Stupid Bob” who comes to visit when things get way too intense in here. Albeit very politically incorrectly named, Stupid Bob is much-needed comic relief and just has to exist right now.

It is said that in the part of our brain called the amygdala, exists our “fight or flight” stress response. But, this is, generally, supposed to be a short-term thing.

torrent-neufWell, I’ve been in “fight” mode for 501 days. I think of this as being at my absolute edges. I don’t know what this says about my sanity. But I am always and only, leaning into my safety guard rail whom is Jesus, particularly through the Psalms.

Also donuts. But mostly Psalms. Grace be with you, my friends.

2 thoughts on “Absolute Edges

  1. Sounds like you have your hands full hope all goes well for Michael and counselor prayers for Justin as always and kudos to Nick for being such a great big brother. Love Aunt Kathy


  2. Getting caught up, it’s like a binge on Netflix only much different. I love you! I’m so proud of Nicky and I can’t wait to see you all.


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