“I was just doing my laps, mommy, and I caught two fish today!” Justin came bounding into the bedroom where I am piddling the afternoon away, lost somewhere in the Amazon.
He was wearing a bathing suit and droplets of water ran, unnoticed, from his hair-line to his chin. I put down my novel.
“Doing my laps” is something I started with him, in our pool, this week, to exercise weakened legs and stretch his shriveled heal cords. And, Jeff, very awesomely (spell check says this isn’t a word but I say sure why not) took the boys fishing this morning.
Justin went on and on about the fish, and I did that Mom thing where you pretend to listen by looking at them and responding at the appropriate times. And you kind of are listening, but mostly you are thinking about something else.
That something else is this: for the first time in a long time, I saw Justin with a future. Not like him grown up with a beard or wearing a suit or anything weird like that.
It was a moment of him being a child – innocent and naive and exaggerating and proud of himself and happy – just as they should be. And it was a moment of realization that he is okay. Because we are never really completely sure what the future holds for him. Or what tomorrow holds for him.
But today he is okay. He IS surviving.
Today, my addled, over-stressed mind pushed through the hazy commotion, in exuberance, because I could finally imagine a future with my child, who wasn’t sick at some point in the day, every single day after day after day after day.
It was a moment too good not to share with my friends who have been so faithful to prayer and support and encouragement. Again, we thank you.
As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts. The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. Praise the Lord, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. Praise the Lord, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the Lord, my soul. Psalm 103:13-22